Just a Carolina girl...

Well, Here I am.  I have my own studio apartment in Raleigh.  I am mastering the skill of efficiently using space for storage, being open to new people and friendships, committing to caring for others recklessly and selflessly... and even more so: being challenged in every area of my life.  I guess I imagined it would happen.  You know- that "HELLO! You are ALL alone!" feeling.  I knew it would hit me, and I knew it would hurt a bit more than I could prepare myself to endure.  But overall, God has used this time to humble me, show me my flaws in massive ways, allow me to cry, and learn exactly what "being on an adventure" is all about.  (hint- at the crux of an adventure lies the vast unknown that only exists WITHOUT a safety net.)

I'm starting to see that life has little to do with the details....(to my dismay!  I'm a detail kind of gal!).  I remember when I knew that I wasn't supposed to go to law school having a fight somewhere deep within.  One one side of this equation was a lifestyle of expensive suits, egyptian cotton sheets, the perfect guy with the perfect career, a growing 401 (k), blah blah blah.  It was filled with "things," and for whatever reason, those "things" felt very safe.  On the other side of the equation I was to move across the country, I had no immediate job, I had bills to pay without a savings to tap into to pay them, I had uncertainty, I had isolation, and I had fear.  I can honestly say that, on my own, I would have NEVER been able to pick option number two.  Too much of the unknown!  Too much fear!  Too many details with no foreseeable way to put them in place!  So, I moved across the country.  I moved into a world that I had very little power to fix or solve anything.  But the moment I thought I had moved blindly...the Lord revealed to me.... that I, in fact, had new eyes in which to view my surroundings, not less.

Have you been on a REAL adventure?  I thought I had.  I know now that i had only a taste of what a true adventure had in store.  Our LIVES should be adventures!  Adventures that have an element of complete uncertainty... that run on the fumes of faith and faith alone... and are steered by an Author of great esteem, who molds incredibly crafted characters and plots.  I have started this adventure.  I am not sure I have a great deal of wisdom in how to rock the inevitable ebb and flow of the uncertainty, but I can say... that flying by the seat of my pants is my only strategy.  I'm slowly learning how to use my heart over my head, how little "things" matter, and how important trusting in my faith is.  Yes, I am alone.  I don't have my best friends close to me.  I am void of a great deal.  But in this void....is a God so much bigger than me, a God who gave me a good heart, and a slow realization of how my passions can be used for His Kingdom.

Just a Carolina girl living an adventure.... for all the right reasons...

Kami.